finally going to slleep. i have a long shift ar work so i cant use my phone. goodniiight

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when i say i want to marry my favorite celebrity i don’t mean just bang i mean like

i want to be making pancakes on sunday morning and have him walk downstairs in plaid pajama pants with messy hair and have him kiss me on the nose

I’d also bang him though

Like a screen door in a hurricane.

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Don’t ask her to moan. Make her. (via ucanjudge)

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happy birthday tim.

i highly doubt you’ll ever see this. i don’t even know if you follow me anymore.

but i hope you have an amazing birthday.

i wanted to make you a cake, but i figured you wouldn’t eat it. and i’m not sure that i could take knowing i can’t make you smile like i did for your last birthday. probably would have broken me even more than i already am.

i figured i shouldn’t tell you that my depression came back tenfold, or that i started self-harming again, because you have bigger problems. i didn’t want to darken your day.

and i know that talking about this drives you crazy, so i’m glad you’re not gonna read it. a lot of the stuff i do drives you crazy, and i thought that was your love for me, but i was wrong. and i hate making you angry.

i loved you. so much. i still do.

but for the first time in a long time i actually know that i have other people that love me, too.

for a long time i thought you were the only one who loved me. i never got a text or a call… unless i did it first. 

loving someone is making sure they’re alright at night. or asking what they might wanna watch on the tv that night. or hugging and kissing them when they’re crying, or doing the same thing when they’re not. or telling them you’re not into them anymore.

it’s when you tell them when you’re starting to not love them as much anymore. or you tell them you lost feelings. you tell them something.

you can’t just assume that i want nothing to do with you anymore. if i shut you out, it’s because i don’t wanna keep wearing my heart on my sleeve, and get it crushed every time i’m rejected by the same guy.

it took a long time for me to realize that other people care for me, they love me. they think of me, and talk to me. they listen to me. i feel important.

i’ve actually been sitting here for a few minutes staring at the cursor, waiting for me to type more. but i shouldn’t really have to. i understand how much you’re going through, and i know you hate talking to people. i’m sorry for trying to pry all the damn time. i’m sorry for every terrible thing i’ve done to you.

i know i took back everything that was important to me, and i know that doesn’t make much sense to you. i was raised to make sure everyone else in my life is happy and healthy and loved and taken care of. and i know you said i can’t make you happy because not much really does. i just wanted to help the only way i knew how. but that’s not what you wanted from me. i still don’t really know what you want. from me or otherwise.

you already know what i wanted, i’ve told you many times, and i’m always promised it’ll get better. but it hasn’t. i don’t want our year’s anniversary spent hating each other, or even your birthday. or any day, really. i miss you like crazy. but i know if you really loved someone, you’d let them know. and you haven’t. you don’t even message me first. you say you don’t wanna be “that guy” but you’re being another one. and there’s a whole lot of guys you don’t need to be. just be yourself and spit it out.

i dont honestly expect you to answer this, or even see it. if you do, i know you’ll be angry. i just can’t sleep and i shouldn’t be alone right now and i wish you’d called, just once.

so i have no idea what we are. i have no clue what we should be. i wanted to be yours. i don’t even know where i was going with this. i’m glad you don’t read it, this is embarrassing. i’m going to shut up now, because all i do is rant. every month, right? well i’m shutting up. i’m sorry.

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Yes! We do…

And bad girls get special kisses with plenty of tongue. ;)

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sad black and white blog, I follow back similar


sad black and white blog, I follow back similar

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i’d love to do this, but i would hate to make the job messy for the people coming to pick my body up

i’d love to do this, but i would hate to make the job messy for the people coming to pick my body up

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I saw you at your worst and I stayed. You saw me at my best and you still left.

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i hate myself.
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My favourite salisha

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